Words are powerful tools. They can uplift you or plummet you. The words you use can dictate your whole outlook, self-esteem and self-confidence. They can also teach others, how to treat you!

Some words limit your self belief. Try changing the following words and notice how it changes your mindset:

• “I can’t” VS “How can I?”
• “It’s impossible” VS “This may take a bit to master”
• “I will never be able to do this” VS “This is going to take some practice”

Avoid absolute words as these can be very constraining:

• “Should” or “Shouldn’t” – According to whom? Who makes the rules on what should or shouldn’t be? Not everything is the same way for everyone.
• “Never” – That’s a long time to commit to something or avoid something.
• “Always” – Really? Every single time? Absolutely? Without fail? Are you sure?

Some words belittle you making you subconsciously feel inferior:

• “Just” as in, ‘I’m just a teacher’ – Using the word ‘just’ signifies that you have little or no importance, when used in such context.
• “Sorry” – The overuse of the worry ‘sorry’ takes away from a genuine apology and can subconsciously display your inferiority complex without you even realizing, because you are constantly apologizing for things. How many times have you apologized for someone bumping into you?!

Some things you say (or don’t say) teaches others how to treat you:

• “Sorry that’s my opinion…” – Why are you apologizing? Are you not entitled to an opinion? The next time you state your opinion that person is not going to listen; they will dismiss it because you have already apologized for having an opinion as though you shouldn’t.
• “Yes” – Do you find yourself saying yes almost all the time and struggle to say ‘no’? That teaches people that what you want is not relevant and that they can expect you to bend over backwards for them if they need you to.
• Do you avoid confrontation, putting your view aside to avoid to a confrontation? – That teaches others that your opinion, values, desires, thoughts, etc. are irrelevant. That they should not respect what you have to say and you yourself feel it isn’t important enough for it to be said. They learn that you would rather stay silent than make them feel uncomfortable. Their comfort is more important that yours. That’s the impression you give, the lesson you teach.

These are just a few examples, but you can see how powerful words are in how you feel, think, act and how it teaches others to feel, think and act around you and towards you. Be more aware of your speech. It can change your life!

– Coach Terri