The words you speak and listen to, are extremely powerful. They impact you at a subconscious as well as conscious level and so influence your behaviour, and ultimately the quality of your life.
Research shows that it takes between 5-7 positives to out-do the damage of a negative comment/feedback. That’s how powerful negative words can be!
Think of the old saying ‘If you hear something often enough, you start to believe it!’
Negativity and Science
- Negative words and speech increase production of cortisol and adrenaline. These are your stress hormones which increase inflammation in your body.
- Physiologically, cortisol and adrenaline are released when you are in a stressed state, fight or flight; to run away from a predator or chase a prey.
- When you release cortisol and adrenaline (our stress hormones), it constricts the visceral area (abdomen and chest i.e. heart and other organs) by reducing the blood flow there, so that you have an increased blood supply to the limbs. The increased blood flow the limbs is so that you can run faster.
- This constriction reduces oxygen flow to organs, reduces detoxification, reduces nutrients distribution and therefore increase your chances of getting sick, having digestive issues, and organ issues.
- Cortisol is a carcinogen so excess production can increase risk of developing cancer.
- Cortisol reduces oestrogen and testosterone which can lead to all sorts of issues such as:
- Fertility issues
- PCOS
- Endometriosis
- Mood swings
- Reduced libido
- Impotence
- Weight gain
- Cortisol also decreases your IQ by about 30% which contributes to:
- Brain fog
- Memory loss
- Inability to think rationally and clearly
- Cortisol reduces your intuition as it reduces the flow of your natural electromagnetic fields. As a result you will be unable to tap into your electromagnetic fields as effectively and therefore decreases your ability to make decisions quickly and easily. Everything around us is made up of electromagnetic fields. Positive, negative and neutral. We attract to some and repel to others. Think about being at a party and meeting someone new. You instantly either like or dislike them even though you know nothing about them. This is commonly known as your intuition, third eye, sixth sense, etc.
- Cortisol reduces oxytocin production, our love hormone which makes us feel passion, love, be sympathetic, compassionate and empathetic. Reduced oxytocin reduces all of these wonderful qualities.
Mental State:
With all of this cortisol production and increased stressed, it is only natural then, that negativity effects your mental state, without you even realising it.
The more you criticise yourself and put yourself down, the worse you feel.
The more you criticise others, the worse you feel. Your brain doesn’t differentiate between you saying those things to yourself or to others, so it internalises them.
The more you expose yourself to those that speak to you negatively the worse your mental state.
Speaking more wisely:
- Choose your words carefully
- I prefer… Instead of I hate that
- I need more practice to master Instead of I can’t do that
- I choose to Instead of I have to
- I choose to Instead of I should
- What if it works ? Instead of What if it doesn’t work?
- Use ‘and’ Instead of ‘but’
- Challenge Instead of Problem
- Productive Instead of Busy
- Avoid words that minimise you or others:
- The word ‘Just’ – reduces the value of something or someone
- Overuse of ‘sorry’ – use it appropriately, don’t diminish its value
- Starting a sentence with ‘But’ all the time signifies negative connotation
- Using demand words such as ‘should’
- Using absolute words such as ‘always’, ‘never’, ‘everyone’
- When someone asks you how you are avoid responding ‘not bad’. If you are ‘not bad’ then you are ‘good’ because ‘not’ and ‘bad’ are 2 negatives. 2 negatives make a positive. Therefore instead of saying ‘not bad’ simply say ‘good’.
- Use positive affirmations. Remember 5-7 positives to every negative and the old ‘if you hear something often enough you believe it’. Use affirmation to rewrite what is imprinted in your subconscious.
- I am an intelligent person
- I am strong
- I am honest
- I am loyal
- I am worthy
- I am important
- Justification words: Avoid words that justify your behaviour, situation etc. by comparing yourself to others. Though your situation may be different it doesn’t justify why they have succeeded, and you haven’t. Words and phrases such as:
- ‘He/She is so lucky’ – you don’t know what it took for someone to achieve their success. Don’t diminish their efforts by calling them lucky.
- ‘They can because… whereas I…’ – justifying your excuses.
- Perspective:
- There were 2 brothers, one a millionaire the other homeless. A reporter asked the homeless brother ‘why are you homeless?’. The brother said, ‘because my dad was a drunk and he beat me.’ The same reporter asked the other brother ‘how did you come to be a millionaire?’ The brother said, ‘because my dad was a drunk and he beat me.’
- Same lives, different perspectives.
- Shift your perspective and work on using setbacks or trauma as fuel to propel you forward into success, rather than using setbacks and trauma as excuses to hold you back.
Other Simple Strategies:
- Reduce your exposure to negative people.
- Reduce your exposure to people that put you down or make you feel inferior, insignificant or enhance your self-doubt.
- Practice using positive affirmations, being more positive, and acting more confident, even you don’t feel it. The more you practice the better you will get at it.
- Clean up your social media so that you unfollow, block or mute accounts or posts that negatively impact you.
- If watching or listening to the news puts you in a negative state, turn it off. If it’s important someone will keep you posted about it.
Plant experiment:
- Plant 2 identical plants in identical soil, in identical settings and water them the same each day, providing them with the exact same opportunity to thrive.
- Label one ‘good’ and the other ‘bad’
- Each morning, turn to ‘good and praise your plant. Give it compliments, touch the leaves, smile and use upbeat tones in your voice.
- Then turn to ‘bad’ and criticise it. Do not touch it and use angry, upset tones in your voice.
- Observe what happens over a 14-day period.
- ‘Good’ will grow and thrive, whilst ‘bad’ will start to wither and possibly die
This experiment show exactly how much you fail to thrive with negative talk. The negativity physically manifests into your body reducing your health, well-being and quality of life. It is therefore imperative you change your words, which will change your thoughts. This will in turn change your behaviour, to give you the best chance at a wonderful life.
- Coach Terri